


ain't nobody fresher [than my motherfucking clique]

by edlington (stealingtime)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Humor, Memes, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Texting, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 01:17:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10426005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stealingtime/pseuds/edlington
Summary: Tsukishima KeiGayfreckle servergayfuck Tsukki u beat me to itmilk boyshut the fuck up tsukishima you’re just as gay as i am[the karasuno first years make a groupchat. chaos ensues.]





	1. fan favorite bisexual twink

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Meme Dream Team [99+ notifications]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9785063) by [taketotheskies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taketotheskies/pseuds/taketotheskies). 



**Hinata Shouyou** created chat  **first year squad!  
** _ sunflower shouyou _ added  _ villager b _ ,  _ Tsukishima Kei _ ,  _ freckle server _ , and  _ milk boy _ to the chat.

22.36  
**Tsukishima Kei**   
Why. 

**sunflower shouyou** ****_  
_ because we need to bond as a team!!   
daichi will kick us out if we aren’t friendly.

**freckle server** **  
** he literally would only do that to you and Kageyama???

**villager b** **_  
_ ** well i think it’s a great idea!!! we can bond!!

**Tsukishima Kei**   
Well, I don’t.    
Bye.

_ Tsukishima Kei  _ left the chat.   
_ milk boy  _ added  _ Tsukishima Kei _ to the chat. 

**milk boy**   
if i have to suffer so do you, asshole   
  
**Tsukishima Kei**   
????????   
We could???? Both leave???

**sunflower shouyou**   
don’t forget, you’re here forever  
  
 **freckle server  
** sorry Tsukki, i think you’re stuck here with the rest of us! 

**Tsukishima Kei**   
Why don’t any of you love yourselves. 

**villager b  
** we do, tsukishima!! we just love each other more (ﾉ>ω<)ﾉ :｡･:*:･ﾟ’★

**sunflower shouyou** ****  
YACHHAN,,,,,  
WE LOVE YOU TOO

**villager b** **  
** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

**sunflower shouyou** **  
** aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**villager b** **  
** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

_ [cut for length] _

/

23.14  
 **sunflower shouyou  
** N E WAYS  
i made this chat because we’re going to be friends whether you like it or not, tsukishima!

**Tsukishima Kei  
** Ugh. 

**freckle server  
** come on, Tsukki, it won’t be so bad!! 

**milk boy**  
guys i need help  
they’re gonna kill kindaichi

**villager b  
** what????????  
is your friend okay????? ＼(º □ º l|l)/

**sunflower shouyou  
** i can’t believe they’re killing off turnip-head

**milk boy  
** guys he needs to know what a meme is  
i can’t tell him because i don’t know what a meme is

**freckle server  
** holy fuck  
[http://bit.ly/IqT6zt](http://bit.ly/IqT6zt) is a meme kageyama  
if you watch it you’ll understand

**milk boy  
** i don’t but maybe kindaichi will

**Tsukishima Kei  
** [ http://bit.ly/2csM1zp  
](http://bit.ly/2csM1zp) When your best friend memes just right.

**sunflower shouyou  
** wAIT tsukki you can meme?????????  
holy shit i can’t believe you have a sense of humour 

**villager b  
** maybe you should ask the other team members, kageyama!  
i’m sure tanaka-kun and nishinoya-kun would be happy to help. 

/

23.32  
**milk boy > caw caw motherfuckers  
** _ members: Tsukishima Kei, freckle server, villager b, shimizu kiyoko, sunflower shouyou, dadchi, suga baby, ROLLING THUNDER, naruto, ass-ahi, kinoshit, chikill me, milk boy, shark boy _

**milk boy  
** guys what’s the best meme

**ROLLING THUNDER**   
According to all known laws  
of aviation,  
there is no way a bee  
should be able to fly.    
Its wings are too small to get  
its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway   
because bees don't care   
what humans think is impossible.   
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.   
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.   
Ooh, black and yellow!   
Let's shake it up a little.   
Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!   
Hang on a second.

_ [cut for length]  _

_ /  
_

**milk boy > first year squad!  
** guys he loves the bee movie

**villager b  
** unironically??? 

**freckle setter  
** how

**Tsukishima Kei  
** W h y

**sunflower shouyou  
** w h a t

**milk boy  
** i don’t know but it’s adorable

**Tsukishima Kei  
** Gay

**freckle server  
** gay  
fuck Tsukki u beat me to it

**milk boy  
** shut the fuck up tsukishima you’re just as gay as i am  
and yamaguchi we all know you’re unfortunately heterosexual  
Leave me alone

**freckle server  
** how dare you call me a heterosexual

**Tsukishima Kei  
** Here we go.

**freckle server  
** i’ll have you know, Kageyama Tobio, that i have liked ONE girl  
ONE GIRL, Kageyama! in my entire life!!!  
and that girl is wonderful and i would lay down my life for her  
but i am a fan-favorite bisexual twink, Kageyama Tobio  
and don’t you forget it

**sunflower shouyou  
** rip bakageyama

_ sunflower shouyou  _ set  _ freckle server’s _ name to  _ fan fave bi twink _

**villager b  
** @yamaguchi（´ ω｀ ) ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

**fan fav bi twink  
** @yachi (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

**milk boy  
** yamaguchi i’m sorry i didn’t mean to call you straght

**villager b  
** straght

**sunflower shouyou  
** straght 

**fan fav bi twink  
** straght

**Tsukishima Kei  
** He’s so gay he can’t even spell straight.  
Oh, I mean, straght.

_milk boy_ left the chat. 

**Tsukishima Kei  
** No you don’t, you little shit.

_ Tsukishima Kei  _ added  _ milk boy _ to the chat.

**Tsukishima Kei  
** Fuck you. 

_ milk boy  _ set  _ Tsukishima Kei’s _ name as  _ rude bitch _

**villager b  
** can we please not fight?? ヽ(●ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ●)ﾉﾟ

**fan fav bi twink  
** look at what you did you monsters you made Yachi cry

**sunflower shouyou  
** jeez guys how could you!!!  
don’t cry yachhan!!! ( ´△｀)

**rude bitch  
** Sorry, Yachi. 

**milk boy  
** sorry, yachi

**villager b  
** !!! oh no it’s okay, no need to apologize  <3 

**sunflower shouyou  
** don’t argue yachhan  
just bask in it, this rarely happens

**rude bitch  
** Shut it, shrimp.

**fan fav bi twink  
** 0-100 real quick

**sunflower shouyou  
** tsukki don’t be mean to meeeeeeee

**rude bitch  
** Don’t call me that. 

/

23.39  
 **Kindaichi Yuutarou > Kageyama Tobio  
**YOU SAVED MY LIFE  
THAKN YOU SO MUCH

**Kageyama Tobio  
** you’re welcome i think?  
happy to help  
anytime  
like at all  
it’s not big deal  
i mean i didnt want to see u die so

/

23.42  
 **milk boy > first year squad!  
**kindaichi is gonna live  
he said i saved his life

**sunflower shouyou  
** dang i was kind of interested to see if the great king would actually kill him

**rude bitch  
** What the fuck, Hinata. 

**sunflower shouyou  
** i’m just saying!!!!! it seems like something he would do!!!!!!

**fan fav bi twink  
** he’s got a point

**rude bitch  
** …..

**milk boy  
** damn even tsukishima can’t think of a retort  
i’m proud of u hinata

**sunflower shouyou  
** its a christmas miracle!

**villager b  
** i can’t believe kageyama saved christmas

**milk boy  
** you guys suck. 


	2. taylor swift sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **rude bitch**  
>  DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE HINATA
> 
> **sunflower shouyou**  
>  #livefastdieyoung  
> TSUKISHIMA LISTSN TO TAYLOR SWIFT

18.41  
**sunflower shouyou  
** GUYS

**rude bitch  
** DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE HINATA

**sunflower shouyou  
** #livefastdieyoung  
TSUKISHIMA LISTSN TO TAYLOR SWIFT

**rude bitch  
** I’M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU

**fan fav bi twink  
** spectator commentary  
Tsukki is trying to catch Hinata  
OH OUCH  
Tsukki tripped him  
fcuk i gotta go rescue Hinata

**villager b  
** rip in peace hinata you were a good friend  
i’ll make sure kenma-kun gets all your stuff

**fan fav bi twink  
** holy fuck Hinata has Tsukki’s phone and is gone with the wind

**rude bitch  
** HI MY NAME IS TSUKISHIMA KEI AND I LISTEN TO SHITTY AMERICAN COUNTRTY MUSICVWARG

**fan fav bi twink  
** Tsukki’s going to kill him  
i don’t think Hinata has ever moved this fast in a match before wtf  
oh no Tsukki tackled him

**villager b  
** hey yamaguchi? just a thought from ur gf yachi (thats me)  
maybe stop them?

**fan fav bi twink  
** Yachi u know i would die for you  
but getting in between them right now  
thats a fate worse than death

**villager b  
** i’m telling mom

**milk boy  
** sugawara isn’t actually our mother you know this right

**villager b  
** kageyama i SAID  
that i’m telling our MOM, sugawara  
do you have a problem with that, kageyama?

**milk boy  
** nope

/

18.52  
**Yachi Hitoka > Sugawara Koushi  
**mom tsukishima and hinata are wrestling outside the gym

**Sugawara Koushi  
** dw honey i’m on it

**Yachi Hitoka  
** im love u mom <3

**Sugawara Koushi  
** i’m love you too my fav daughter <3

/

19.06  
**milk boy > first year squad!  
**i never knew sugawara was so strong

**fan fav bi twink  
** i never knew suga was capable of killing  
but today he walked out the gym like nobody’s business  
goddamn, he murdered both of them and i was his witness

**rude bitch  
** How come I get teased for allegedly listening to Taylor Swift  
But Yamaguchi paraphrases Beyoncé and nobody says shit??

**sunflower shouyou  
** um beyonce is actually good

**milk boy  
** even i know that beyonce is better than taylor swift

**fan fav bi twink  
** yeah sorry Tsukki queen b all the way

**villager b  
** i mean. taylor is OKAY  
but nobody’s better than bey

**sunflower shouyou  
** excuse you nobody is better than NICKI thank you very much

**villager b  
** thats fair but… them together though  
also  
hinata how did u find out about tsukishima’s apparent love of taylor swift?

**rude bitch  
** Anyways, Hinata is actually right for once Nicki is better than Beyoncé

**sunflower shouyou  
** ew tsukki don’t taint my opinion with ur filthy taylor-stan words

**rude bitch  
** I thought I told you not to call me that, shrimp.  
And Taylor Swift IS good?  
Try telling me Love Story isn’t a jam.

**milk boy  
** he has a point

**villager b  
** new romantics is pretty good as well

**sunflower shouyou  
** you know whats a real banger

**rude bitch  
** I already hate whatever you’re going to say.

**sunflower shouyou  
** the barbie: princess and the pauper soundtrack

**fan fav bi twink**   
you watch barbie movies, Hinata?  
nvm of course you do

**rude bitch  
** How much more of a child could you be?

**sunflower shouyou  
** i have a seven year old sister

**milk boy  
** island princess was much better

**villager b  
** i liked the diamond castle best

**rude bitch  
** All of you watch barbie films?

**villager b  
** natsu is really persuasive

**milk boy  
** we spend a lot of time at the shrimp’s house  
**  
****fan fav bi twink**  
Tsukki, you really can’t tease  
you cried four times during the land before time last saturday

**rude bitch  
** The Land Before Time is a cinematic masterpiece  
It is miles above their shitty barbie movies.

**fan fav bi twink  
** four times, Tsukki

**sunflower shouyou  
** hey speaking of movies and people being at my house  
this saturday we should have a sleepover!! mom said she was cool with it

**fan fav bi twink  
** won’t Yachi not be able to come? because she’s a girl?

**villager b  
** im loving that gender validation but also,,,  
ive slept over at hianta’s more times than any of his other friends

**fan fav bi twink  
** oh  
okay sounds good to me!  
i have netflix so we can log into my account

**sunflower shouyou  
** yaaaaaassssssssssssssss

**rude bitch  
** I’ll pass.

**fan fav bi twink  
** no u don’t Tsukki ur coming  
i have a color coded file of dirt on you ur coming to the sleepover

**rude bitch  
** ….  
Hinata, can I have your mom’s phone number so my mom can call her?

**fan fav bi twink  
** atta boy

**milk boy  
** yea i can do next saturday  
hinata do you want to go snack shopping friday after school

**sunflower shouyou  
** heck yeah i do  
any requests

**villager b  
** fugashi!! i can give u cash to pay for it tomorrow

**fan fav bi twink  
** Tsukki would die before he says this but he wants pringles  
i’ll give u money for them tmrw and i can raid my candy stash

**sunflower shouyou  
** sounds like a plan!! <(＾▽＾)／｡.:*☆

/

21.16  
**Yamaguchi Tadashi > Tsukishima Kei  
** hey how DID Hinata find out you like taylor swift  
don’t think i didn’t notice your deflecting

**Tsukishima Kei  
** New Phone Who Dis

**Yamaguchi Tadashi  
** he had to have either seen it over your shoulder  
and i know you’re more careful than to let Hinata of all people do that  
or he was listening to your music through your mp3

**Tsukishima Kei  
** N e w  P h o n e  W h o  D i s

**Yamaguchi Tadashi  
** you don’t even let me listen to your music  
the only time you’ve let someone else use your mp3 was that girl you "dated"  
yknow the redhead from our second year of middle school  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) **  
**  
Tsukishima Kei  
He was really, really insistent. **  
**  
Yamaguchi Tadashi  
Tsukki could it be?  
have you grown fond of our dear sweet shrimpy?

**Tsukishima Kei  
** Shut up, Tadashi.

**Yamaguchi Tadashi  
** sorry, Tsukki!  
but i think you do like him more than you let on  
it’s okay to have friends who aren’t me and Kuroo-senpai!

**Tsukishima Kei  
** Kuroo and I aren’t friends.

**Yamaguchi Tadashi  
** it’s okay to have friends who aren’t me!  
it’s okay to like-like him too, if that’s how it is.  
you can trust me, Tsukki.  
i’ve got your back.

**Tsukishima Kei  
** Don’t tell him.  
Please?

**Yamaguchi Tadashi  
** your secret is safe with me, Tsukki!!     (･ω <)☆  
you are kind of like a little boy pulling on pigtails, though

**Tsukishima Kei  
** Wow, you hurt all four of my feelings.

**Yamaguchi Tadashi  
** haha yeah  
sarcasm, irritation, smugness, and what was the other one?  
a big fat crush on Hinata?

**Tsukishima Kei  
** Fuck you, Tadashi.

**Yamaguchi Tadashi  
** ily2 Tsukki <3   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i should wait to post this chapter so i can build up a buffer for updating  
> also me: no chapter buffers we die like men
> 
>  
> 
> [heres my blog](http://halfcelestial.tumblr.com) and i'm on twitter as @spaceboysmith come yell about tsukihina with me

**Author's Note:**

> hi this fic is a parallel to the wonderful @taketotheskies (@jellieplant on tumblr)'s wonderful meme dream team seijoh groupchat..... all of kindaichi's parts were written by her and on the next chapter of her's i wrote kageyama's parts <3333
> 
> hope u enjoy the memefuckery that is to come


End file.
